|Yes, there are dirty dishes in the sink. Don't judge me.|
Apparently things weren't lining up correctly.
Over the course of the weekend and after about 3+ hours of trial and error, a trip to Lowe's, three different types of screws, two stud-finders, and a good Googling; the Man and his pop were able to locate a stud, drill some holes, and get that cabinet to actually stay on the wall.
|This isn't even showing the holes in the wall behind it. Thank goodness for spackle.|
Hopefully I will never again have to wash dishes in a bathtub.